An 80-year-old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
“I’ve never been better!” he boasted.
“I’ve got a 23-year-old bride who’s pregnant, and having my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry,
and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his g-un.”
The doctor continued, “So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle.”
“And do you know what happened?” the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied “No.”
The doctor continued, “The bear dropped dead in front of him!”
“That’s impossible!” exclaimed the old man. “Someone else must have s-hot that bear.”
“That’s kind of what I’m getting at…” replied the doctor.
An old man gets on a crowded bus
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat.
As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls.
As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn’t slip.”
The old man snaps back, “Well if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today!”
LOL!!
