Bubba was bragging to his boss one day,
“You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “How about Tom Cruise?”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock at Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”
Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba he thinks knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes,” Bubba says, “I know him. Let’s fly out to Washington.” And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise! I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend…come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is much shaken now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. “The Pope,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Bubba. “My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope for a long time.”
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”
And he disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Bubba asks him, “What happened?” His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Bubba?”
A trio of old veterans were bragging and jokes
about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall.
“My great grandfather, at age 13,” one declared proudly, “was a drummer boy at Shiloh.”
“Mine,” boasts another, “went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.”
“I’m the only soldier in my family,” confessed vet number three, “but if my great grandfather was living today he’d be the most famous man in the world.”
“Really? What’d he do?” his friends wanted to know.
“Nothing much… But he would be 165 years old.”
