John came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him: “What’s the story this time, John?”
He asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”
Jones sighed.
“Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, look, my suit’s still damp, I ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson’s helicopter, landed at Battersea Heliport and a couple of wrestlers gave me a piggyback into work.”
“You’ll have to do better than that, John.” Said the boss, obviously disappointed…
“No woman can get ready in ten minutes.”
LOL!!
A Husband Wants Divorce
A married couple is driving on a highway at a speed of 60mph, the wife behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks at her and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.”
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70mph.
Then the husband says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are.”
Again, the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.
“I want the house,” he says, pressing his luck.
Again, the wife speeds up to 80mph.
He says, “I want the car too”, but she just drives faster and faster. By now she’s up to 90mph.
“Alright,” he says, “I want the bank accounts and all the credit cards, too.”
She slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, “You don’t want anything?”
The wife says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”
“Oh, really,” he says, “so what have you got?”
Right before they slam into the wall at 100mph, the wife smiles and says, “The airbag.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
