All of us on Facebook have at least one of each of these types of friends on our list:
1. The “Rooster” – Always tells Facebook “Good Morning” every day.
2. The “Lurker” – Never posts or comments on your post, but reads everything, and might make reference to your status when seeing you in public.
3. The “Hyena” – Doesn’t ever really say anything, just LOLs and LMAOs at everything.
4. “Mr/Ms Popular” – Has 4,367 friends for NO reason.
5. The “Gamer” – Plays Words With Friends, Mafia Wars, Farmville, and Bejeweled Blitz, and bakes virtual cakes and stuff, etc. (ALL DAY).
6. The “Cynic” – Hates his life, and everything in it, as evidenced by the somber tone in ALL of his status updates.
7. The “Collector” – Never posts anything either, but joins every group and becomes fans of the most random stuff.
8. The “Promoter” – Always sends event invitations to things that you ultimately delete or ignore.
9. The “Liker” – Never actually says anything, but always clicks the “like” button.
10. “Drama Queen/King” – This person always posts stuff like “I can’t believe this!” or “They gonna make me snap today!” in the hopes that you will ask what happened, or what’s wrong … but then never finishes telling the story.
11. The “News” – Always updates you on what they are doing and who they are doing it with, no matter how arbitrary, and lastly…
12. The “Thief” – Steals status updates … and will probably steal this one…
Dictionary for women
Argument: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realised it yet.
Bar-be-que: You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he made the dinner.
Clothes Dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity: The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise: To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser: Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician”.
Hardware Store: Similar to a black hole in space — if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Patience: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilliser”.
Valentine’s Day: A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner and diamonds, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
