“Honey, I want a new iPhone for my birthday!”
“But what about the other one?”
“The other one is getting me an iPad.”
I told my friend not to get too excited about turning 32, since her birthday party would be so short.
“Why would it be short?” she asked.
I said, “Because it’s your thirty-second birthday.”
Nothing would please me more!
Husband: “Soon we will be married for 10 years. I will get you a nice new car for our anniversary.”
Wife: “Oh darling. Nothing would please me more!”
And so the husband got her nothing for the anniversary.
It was a few days before Valentine’s Day and a young woman was taking an afternoon nap.
After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day! What do you think it means?”
Her husband smiled. “Oh, I have a feeling you’ll know later tonight.” he said with a wink.
His wife squealed with joy.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it… only to find a book titled “The meaning of dreams.”
Life was good at the Smiths. It was just another day.
Suddenly, shouts were heard from inside the house. The wife was shouting at Bob, her husband.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
