Husband (angrily):
“Why did it take so long for you to answer my call?”
Wife (irritated): I was dancing on the ringtone.
A husband takes the wife to a night club.
There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works!
The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!”
The husband says, “Looks to me like he’s still celebrating!!!”
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”
She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Betty Sue’ written on it’
He says, “Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? ‘Betty Sue’ was the name of the horse I went there to bet on.”
She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he’s reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”
She answers, “Your horse called.”
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn’t been talking to each other.
Instead, they were giving each other written notes.
One evening he gave her a paper where it said:
“Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am.”
The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o’clock.
Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying:
“Wake up, it’s 6 o’clock!”