A man was walking in the city when he was accosted by a particularly bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars, and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on golf?”
“I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Instead of giving you $2, I’m going to take you to my home for a dinner cooked by my wife.”
The bum was surprised. “Won’t your wife be angry with you for bringing me to your home? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
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The man replied, “That’s okay. I just want her to see what a man who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf looks like.”
LoLLLL, did you laugh? did you read this joke before?
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A chemistry teacher put a $20 bill in a bottle of ethanol
For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put it in a bottle of ethanol. He then asks his students if it will dissolve.
A student raises his hand to answer.
Student: No it won’t dissolve sir.
Teacher: Really good! Now can you explain to the rest of the class why?
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Student: You’re so cheap, there’s no way you would’ve sacrificed that $20.