Wife was massaging her husband’s head.
Wife: You always ask for a head massage. Wonder who gave it to you before marriage.
Husband: Well no one did, I didn’t need one since there was no headache!
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him,
“Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”
“I know” said the man, “but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.”
At a dinner party,
the speaker who was the guest of honour was about to deliver his speech when his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, “It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much.”
The speaker replied, “You don’t know my wife.
The letters stand for “Keep it short, stupid.”
The other day
Man accompanied his wife when she went to the parlor for a haircut.
Reading a magazine in the reception area, he found an interesting article.
He asked the receptionist if he could take the magazine next door to make a photocopy.
“Leave some ID, a driver’s license or a credit card,” she said.
“But my Wife is here getting a haircut,” he explained.
“Yes, I know,” she replied. “But I need something you’ll come back for.”
