Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced,
“Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500.00 for its immediate return.”
After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.00!”
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight.
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, “Why did you put up such a fight?”
To which the man promptly replied, “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe.”
The Angry Wife.
A man is in a bar talking to his friend.
“Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.”
“Did he get anything?” asks his friend.
“Yes,” says the man.
“A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk.”
One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk,
down on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlight.
The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wristwatch had broken loose from his wrist.
The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped.
“About a half a block up the street,” the drunk said.
“Why, pray tell,” the man asked the drunk, “are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?”
The drunk replied, “The light is a lot better here.”
