A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, “Where do you live?”
“Nowhere”, the first drunk replied.
“And where do you live?”, he asks the other.
“We’re neighbours.”
Two drunks are walking along.
One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”
They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining.
Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third drunk looked at the sky and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out.
The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him.
The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. “Is this really your grandmother?”
“Yes. She visits every Christmas!”
“Very good! And where she stays at the rest of the year?” the driver insists.
“At the airport!,” says the kid and continues, “Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home…”
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
“I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.”
“I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer.
“Then the duck’ll have to pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent.”
