A man walks into a bar and briskly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots.
The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.”
The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”
The bartender, visibly concerned, fills up 12 more shots and lines them on the bar. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”
The bartender says “hold up man! You gotta slow down!” The man says “trust me, if you had what I had, you’d be drinking this fast too.”
“My God,” says the bartender, quietly leaning over the bar he asks, “what do you HAVE?”
“A dollar.”
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The Blondes Who Locked Their Car
Two blonds lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the other one watches.
Finally, the first blond says “D..ar..n, I can’t get in the car!”
The other blond replies, “keep trying! It looks like it is going to rain and the top is down!”