Teacher: How old is your father?
Johnny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.
Two fathers chat outside school in the morning.
“Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?”
“Yes, man, I did. Why?”
“Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them…?”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
Employee: “Hi welcome to McDonald’s what can I get you today.”
Little Johnny: “Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke.”
Employee: “Sir you know you don’t have to put Mc in front of anything you order.”
Little Johnny: “Ok I just really like Donald’s.”
Employee: “Sir its McDonald’s.”
Little Johnny: “Ma’am you don’t have to put Mc in front of everything.”
The son asks his dad,
“Dad, what can I do if I want to live forever?”
Dad replies, “All you have to do is marry.”
The son is surprised, “And that will really make me live forever?”
Daddy replies “No, but the wish dies.”
