Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven.
The angel at the gate tells them, “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner, your way across the bridge to Heaven will be decided.”
The first guy says, “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated thrice.”
The angel gives him an old model pick-up.
The second guy says, “11 years and only once.”
The angel grants him a Mercedes.
The last man says, “20 years and not once, we loved each other with all our hearts.”
The angel is duly impressed, and bestows upon him a gold edition Lamborghini.
The man soon passes the other two men.
Hours later the two men catch up to him at a diner. He’s sitting alone at a table sobbing and muttering to himself.
One of the men approaches him and says, “I know we are dead but it could be much worse. Don’t be upset!”
The guy looks up and says “Don’t be upset?!, 30 minutes ago I passed my wife, and she was riding a skateboard!”
A woman had a problem with her closet door—it fell every time a bus passed, so she called a repair man.
The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out whenever a bus passes by.
“OK, I’m going to see what’s going on. Just close the door behind me,” he says as he steps into the closet.
At that time the husband comes home from work, opens the closet, and finds the repairman.
Husband: “What the hell are you doing here!”
Repairman: “Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!”
A wife was with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she told the panicked lover. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re with me.”
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?!?”
“Nonsense,” said the wife. “You’re so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two, three, four. Oh ok, you were right.”
