Three husbands were sitting at a bar, each nursing a drink and lamenting the mysteries of married life.
Husband 1 sighs and says, “My wife is a genius. She remembers everything I ever said… especially the things I forgot to do.”
Husband 2 nods. “Mine too. Last week, she said I didn’t listen to her. Or maybe that’s what she said. I wasn’t really paying attention.”
Husband 3 chuckles. “Gentlemen, you have it easy. My wife is so persuasive, she once convinced me that I was wrong about something I hadn’t even said yet.”
They all laugh and raise their glasses, when an old man at the end of the bar, with a long white beard and a twinkle in his eye, leans over and says, “You lads still have much to learn. I’ve been married 50 years. You want to know the secret?”
They nod eagerly.
The old man continues, “Every fight I ever had with my wife, I lost. Every one. But… I figured out how to win.”
The three men lean in closer.
“I simply learned two magical words,” he says, holding up two fingers. “‘Yes, dear.’ That’s it. That phrase has saved me from sleeping on the couch more times than I can count.”
Husband 1 asks, “But doesn’t that mean you just give up?”
The old man laughs. “No, no. You don’t give up. You just surrender… strategically. Like a ninja.”
He goes on:
“Let me tell you what happened last week. My wife asked, ‘Do you think I’m overreacting?’”
He pauses and looks at them seriously.
“Now, I may be old, but I’m not stupid. That question is a trap wrapped in a riddle inside a landmine.”
“So I smiled, nodded, and said, ‘Yes, dear.’”
Husband 2 frowns. “And that worked?”
“Well,” the old man says, “not exactly. I’m still recovering from the saucepan incident… but I consider it a partial victory. At least I now know what not to say. Again.”
The three husbands laugh, and the old man raises his glass.
“To wives! The only people who can multitask, win arguments in their sleep, and somehow always be right… even when they aren’t.”
The others clink their glasses.
And for once, they all agreed… quietly, and well within earshot of no one important.
4 Married Guys Start Talking About Their Wives While Fishing
Four married men decided to go fishing together one day.
While they were fishing, they talked about the things they had given up to be there.
First, one of the men said, “You don’t know what I had to do to come fishing with you today. On Saturday, I promised my wife I would paint the entire house.”
The other men nodded to show they understood how difficult it was to make plans with their wives.
But the second man’s story was even more impressive.
He exclaimed, “That’s nothing! I promised my wife I’d build her a new deck for the pool.”
Taking her fishing was the only way to fulfill her dream after she had wanted it for years.
The third man, listening carefully, shared his own story.
He said, “You both had it easy! I promised my wife I’d redo the entire kitchen for her.”
It will be a lot of work, but I just had to join you guys on this fishing trip.”
While they continued fishing, they glanced at the fourth man who had been quiet.
Eventually, they gave in and asked him, “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to come fishing this weekend. What’s going on?”
When he shared his secret, the fourth man grinned mischievously. “Well,” he started, “I just set my alarm for 5:30. When it rang, I turned it off, gave my wife a light push, and asked, “Fishing or something else?”
Guess what she said? “Put on a sweater.”
The other men laughed at how clever he was for finding a way to go fishing.
Sometimes things don’t go as expected when you make a straightforward choice.
