Two avid hunters take a hunter’s safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
One says to the other, “What shall we do?”
The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says “Shall we try again?”
The other says, “I guess not… I only have two arrows left…”
A guy from New Jersey went hunting one day in New York and bagged three ducks.
He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like people from New Jersey.
The game warden ordered the guy to show his hunting license, and the guy from Jersey pulled out a valid New York hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from New York, This is a Pennselvanya duck. You got a Pennselvanya huntin’ license, boy?”
The guy from New Jersey reached into his wallet and produced a Pennselvania hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said “This ain’t no Pennselvaina duck, This duck’s from Rhode Island. You got a Rhode Island license?” The guy from New Jersey reached into his wallet and produced a Rhode Island hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Rhode Island duck. This here duck’s from Massachuess. You got a Massachuess huntin’ license?” Again the guy from New Jersey reached into his wallet and brought out a Massachuess hunting license
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the newfie “Just where the hell are you from?”
The guy from New Jersey turned around, bent over, dropped his pants and said, “You tell me, you’re the expert.”
