In a small-town Nebraska courtroom, the prosecutor called his first witness — an elderly grandma named Mrs. Williams.
He smiled confidently and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know who I am?”
She looked him straight in the eye and said: “Of course I know you, Mr. Rawley. I’ve known you since you were a boy.
And frankly, you’ve been a disappointment. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you gossip, and you think you’re a big shot… But you’ll never be more than a second-rate paper-pusher with a big ego.”
The courtroom froze. The prosecutor turned ghost-white.
Desperate, he pointed across the room and asked, “Do you know the defense attorney?”
She nodded.
“Oh, I know Mr. Carbuncle too. He’s a lazy drunk, a bigot, and a terrible lawyer. He’s cheated on his wife with THREE different women— One of them was your wife, Mr. Rawley.”
The defense attorney nearly fainted.
Then the judge called both lawyers to the bench and whispered,
“If either of you idiots asks if she knows ME, I’ll throw you both in jail!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
A 70-year-old woman decided to stay at an expensive hotel
A 70-year-old woman decided to stay at an expensive hotel for her birthday.
The next morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00.
She wanted to know why the charge was too high.
“It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the clerk.
The clerk clarified that $250.00 is the standard price. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager.
The manager introduced himself and explained that the hotel “has an Olympic size swimming pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” the old woman said.
“Well, they’re there and you could have,” he replied.
The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.
The manager replied, “Well, we have them and you could have them.”
Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I didn’t use it!”
The manager then replied with his standard reaction. After arguing with him for several minutes, she decided to pay.
The manager was shocked when she handed him the check. “But ma’am, this check is only $50.00,” he said.
“That’s right. I charged you $200.00 for s-l.eeping with me,” replied the old lady.
“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have,” the old woman replied.
Don’t mess with Senior Citizens, they spent a lifetime learning the skills… !!!
Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
