A couple is enjoying a day in the backyard.
The wife bends over to pick something up, and her husband, eyeing her from behind, smirks and says, “Wow, your butt is bigger than the BBQ!”
She looks back, upset, and replies, “No, it’s not!”
A little argument follows, and he, ever the curious one, grabs a tape measure. He measures both the BBQ and her behind, and to his surprise…
Yep, her butt is indeed bigger than the BBQ.
She silently walks into the house, a little miffed. That night, they’re both in bed.
He moves closer, ready to have some fun, but she turns to him and says, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up that huge BBQ just for one little wiener?”
One evening, as a couple was getting ready for bed
One evening, as a couple was getting ready for bed, the wife suddenly asked:
Wife: “Honey… do you think I’ve gained weight?”
The husband (texting on his phone, not looking up): “Uh… a little.”
Silence. Dangerous silence.
Wife: “What do you mean ‘a little’? You actually think I’ve gotten fat?”
Husband (still oblivious): “Well… you asked. I thought you wanted an honest answer.”
Wife: “Do you realize that question was a trap?”
Husband: “A trap? What kind of trap?”
Wife: “A trap to test your love! The correct answer is: ‘No, babe, you’re as stunning as ever.’ Not ‘Uh… a little!’ Oh my god!”
Husband: “But you said you wanted me to always be honest with you!”
Wife: “I want you to be honest with the world, not with me!”
Husband (trying to recover): “I mean… you’ve gained a little, but it’s cute! Like, in a huggable way…”
Wife: “Aha! So you admit there’s been weight gain! Thanks for confirming!”
Husband: “… I feel like I’m on trial right now.”
Wife: “Correct. And you just confessed under oath.”
Husband silently grabs a pillow and blanket.
Wife: “Where are you going?”
Husband: “To the couch. Trying to avoid a five-year sentence.”
