A crab and a lobster are secretly dating.
Pretty soon, the lobster tires of the lying and tells her father, who then forbids her to see the crab anymore.
“It’ll never work, honey.” he says to her. “Crabs walk sideways and we walk straight.”
“Please,” she begs her father. “Just meet him once. I know you’ll like him.”
Her father finally relents and agrees to a one-time meeting, and she runs off to share the good news with her crab sweetie.
The crab is so excited he decides to surprise his beloved’s family. He practices and practices until he can finally walk straight!
On the BIG day, he walks the entire way to the lobster’s house as straight as he can.
Standing on the porch, and seeing the crab walking towards him, the lobster dad yells to his daughter….. “I knew it! Here comes that crab and he’s drunk!”
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A fisherman carrying a lobster bumped into a friend on the way home.
“Where are you going with the lobster under your arm?” asked his friend.
The fisherman answered, “I’m taking him home to dinner.”
Just then the lobster spoke up, “I’ve already had my dinner, can we go to a movie instead?”
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A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.
After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.
After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could.
After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car.
After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police. “I`ve been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!” he said.
“Can you give us a description of the turtles?” asked the police officer.
“No, I can`t. It all happened too fast!” cried the snail.
