A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
“In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Will the Morons Please Stand Up.
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?”
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
“Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked.
The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
Last semester, I took macroeconomics and didn’t have a clue what I was doing (as cited in the final exam).
There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason, I decided to play the game of probability and chose the letter “A” for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed.
The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. “Is everything okay?” “Sure,” I said, “why?”Well, here’s your test,” he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. “Can you explain why you chose an ‘A’ for everything,”
Knowing that there was nothing I could do at that point, I said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to be an ‘A’ student.”
Importance of Physics
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when he was rudely interupted by a pre-med student.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”
