A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road.
They thoughtfully made a sign saying “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” and showed it to each passing car.
One driver who drove by didn’t appreciate the sign and shouted at them, “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!”
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All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, “You think maybe we should have just said, “Bridge Out instead?”
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An old lady gives a boy some nuts
One day, I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady.
She said to me, “Sonny, would you like some nuts? I’ve got a couple of hazelnuts and almonds if you’d like.”
“Sure.”, I replied.
Then she gave me a handful of nuts then she went back to sit with her friends.
“What a nice lady”, I thought
A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again with a lot of nuts.
After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.
It was a little bit weird so I asked her:
“Why don’t you eat them yourself?”
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“Because we’ve got no teeth”, she replied.
“Then why do you buy them?”, I asked.
“Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them.”
