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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender

A man walked into a bar. He sat down and asked the bartender, “If I can impress you, can I have a free drink?” 

The bartender said of course, so the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny piano.

Then he pulled out a small rat and set it by the piano.

It crawled onto the bench and began playing music.

The bartender didn’t think it was possible, so he agreed.

The bartender was amazed so he gave the man a beer.

Then the man said, “If I impress you even more, can I have free drinks for life?” ”

The bartender didn’t think it was possible so he agreed.

The man pulled a frog out of his pocket, and it began to sing by the piano.

The bartender smiled and told the man he was impressed.

A man in a suit with a cane walked into the bar, saw the small animals, and offered to buy them for $2 million.

The owner said no, but he offered to sell the frog for $500,000.

The rich man agreed, took the frog, and left.

The bartender couldn’t believe the owner just did that and said, “Why did you just sell the frog?! There is no singer now!”

The owner laughed and said, “Don’t worry, the rat is a ventriloquist.”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

A guy walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling

A guy walks into a bar and sees two steaks hanging from the ceiling.

He sits down, orders a beer, and asks the bartender, “What’s the deal with the steaks?”

“It’s a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the rest of the night.”

The man sits down and thinks about it, and a few minutes later the bartender asks him if he would like to try.

“Nah, the steaks are too high.”

Another man heard the offer. He’d been having money troubles all his life but had slowly begun turning his life around.

He had saved money and paid off most of his debts. It had been a struggle though, and he wasn’t sure he could keep doing it much longer.

He thought if he could just win this bet, well, everything would be fine.

Of course, if he lost the bet, paying everyone’s bar tabs would be enough to financially ruin him.

“What the heck,” he thought.

He had played basketball in high school and considered himself to still be in good shape.

He crouched down and jumped as high as he could with all his might.

Her right hand stretched and stretched, and just with the barest of touches, his middle finger grazed the hanging meat.

In the same movement, his left hand turned to the steak. His reach came ever so close to the steak but alas no contact was made.

As the realization flooded over him, he crumpled to the ground and cried.

“How could I let one missed steak ruin my life?”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

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