In order to pay his medical school tuition,
a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher’s assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat.
One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up suddenly, looked him in the eye, and screamed, “God save me! It’s the butcher!”
A young man from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.
The manager asks, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The man replies, “Yeah, I was one of the best footwear salesmen back in Omaha.”
The boss likes the guy and gives him the job. “You can start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job is rough, but he gets through it. After the store is locked up, the boss comes down. “How many customers bought something from you today?” The man responds, “One.”
The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”
“$101,237.65.”
“How is it possible? What did you sell?”
“First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a large fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn’t think his car would pull it, so I took him down to the automobile department and sold him a 4×4 truck with all the bells and whistles.”
“A guy came in here to buy a fish hook, and you sold him a boat and a truck?”
“No, the guy came in here to buy diapers for his kid, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot. You should go fishing.’”
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway.
At the end of the first day, her supervisor is impressed. “Wow!” he says. “You did eight miles today! That’s amazing!”
The second day, the blonde’s production is down to four miles. “Still pretty darn good,” the supervisor says.
On the third day, the blonde only does two miles. The supervisor calls her into the office.
“What’s going on?” he asks. “The first day you did great with eight miles, then yesterday you were down to four, and today you only managed two. What’s the problem?”
The blonde rolls her eyes and says “Duh! The paint bucket keeps getting farther away!”
