Allan retired in his early 50’s and started a second career.
However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his boss called him into the office for a talk.
“Allan, I must tell you, I truly like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but being late for work nearly every day is quite annoying to me as well as your fellow workers.”
Allan replied, “Yes, sir, I know. I’m sorry, but I am working on it.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” his boss said. “However, the fact that you consistently come to work late does puzzle me, because I understand that you retired from the United States Air Force, and they have some pretty rigid rules about tardiness. Isn’t that correct?”
“Yes. I did retire from the Air Force, and I’m mighty proud of it!” said Allan.
“Well, what did they say when you came in late?” asked his boss.
“They said, ‘Good morning, General’.”
A retired Army General moves into a new apartment after quitting service.
Over the next few weeks, his new neighbors realized that on the weekends he would return to his apartment at 2am very drunk, remove his left boot and slam it on the floor, remove his right boot and slam it on the floor even harder and then go to sleep.
Since the force of these thunderous slams was enough to wake up almost everyone around him, and this was a family complex no less, the neighbors decided to go to his house and confront him about this one morning.
“Mr. General Sir, thank you for your service to our country, and we welcome you to our apartment complex.”
“Thank you”
“Sir, we realize that serving the country for so long can really take a toll on someone, and we want you to enjoy your retirement…”
“Okay?”
“But, sir, can you please, kindly, not slam your boots down in the middle of the night once you return home on the weekends? It’s waking us and our kids up.”
“Oh! I didn’t know that. I am sorry for waking all of you up like that, how stupid of me, it won’t happy again.”
“Thank you so much, sir”
The next weekend the General returns home drunk and sits on his bed. He removes his left boot and slams it on the floor; removes his right boot and- “Wait a minute… this is what they were talking about, isn’t it?” he says to himself in his drunken stupor. He gently places the right boot next to the left one and goes to bed.
An hour or so later the General wakes up to the sounds of the doorbell ringing continuously and heavy knocking on his door. He gets up, waddles over to the door and opens it to find a group of his neighbors standing outside in their nightclothes –
“SIR! Can you please just slam the other boot already so we can all get some sleep!!?”
