An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting.
When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?”
She replied: a can of peaches.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied 6.
The judge then said, “I will give you 6 days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said,” What is it? ”
…
..
.
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
Man tries to open a bank account.
Man tries to open a bank account.
Teller asks him, “Your name?”
“J-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh.”
“Oh, you stutter?”
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“No, my dad did, but the person, who did by birth certificate, was a complete moron!”
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