An elderly married couple had just settled into bed when the old man let out a loud fart and declared, “Seven points!”
His wife, confused, rolled over and asked, “What was that all about?”
The old man grinned and replied, “It’s fart football.”
Not wanting to be left out, a few minutes later the wife let one rip and proudly announced, “Touchdown, tie game!”
After a short pause, the old man fired off another and boasted, “Aha, 14 to 7! I’m winning.”
Determined to keep up, the wife let loose with another big one, saying, “Touchdown, tie game again.”
Then, with a little squeaker, she added, “Field goal! I’m in the lead, 17 to 14.”
Now feeling the pressure, the old man couldn’t stand the thought of losing. Determined not to be defeated, he pushed with all his might—but gave a little too much effort. To his horror, he accidentally pooped in the bed.
His wife, shocked, asked, “What on earth just happened?”
The old man sighed and said, “Half time—time to switch sides.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
An old couple had been married for 50 years.
An old couple had been married for 50 years.
Every morning (without fail) the man produced a massive fart when he got out of bed and then laughed like a madman.
Also every morning, his wife would admonish him: “One of these days you’re going to fart your guts out.”
It’s Thanksgiving morning.
The old man is sleeping in and the old lady is in the initial steps of preparing the turkey. While she has a handful of turkey innards, she gets an idea.
She tiptoes up the stairs and into the bedroom. She carefully pulls back the waistband of her husband’s jockey shorts and loads him up with warm turkey guts.
An hour later the woman hears him stirring.
She hears his feet hit the floor and then the normal fart-laugh sequence.
The laugh stops abruptly and is followed by a scream, and then 10 minutes of utter silence.
The man eventually comes down the stairs and says to his wife: “Honey, I owe you an apology. For years, you’ve been telling me that I was going to fart my guts out. Today it finally happened, but by the grace of God and these 2 fingers (raises soiled 1st and 2nd digit) I got ’em all back in and I’m gonna be OK.”
