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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub

An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman walk into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.

As the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down, and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and asks for another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs his shoulders, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”


A Man And His Dog Walk Into A Pub.

A man and his dog walk into a pub.

The landlord said, “Sorry, we don’t allow pets in here.”

The man replied, “But my dog can talk. Will you let him in if he talks?

The landlord chuckled, shook his head saying, “Yeah, sure, why not?”

The man looked at his dog and smiled, “Alright! What’s on the outside of a tree?”

The dog said, “Bark”.

“What’s on top of a house?”, he asked next.

“Roof!” the dog responded.

“What’s the opposite of smooth?”, he finally said.

“Ruff! said the dog.

The landlord snapped and stamped his feet on the ground saying, “That’s it. Get out of my bar.”

The man sighed and walked out of the bar with his dog.

Outside the pub, the man shouted at the dog saying, “What the hell was that?!”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry,” the dog said.


Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!! 

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