An Irishman walks into a bar in London one lunchtime and orders three pints of Guinness.
He takes them off to a table and starts drinking them, a sip at a time from each in sequence.
It’s unusual but the barman’s busy and doesn’t ask.
But the Irishman returns at lunch the next day and does the same thing.
And this goes on for a week before the barman eventually asks, “So, what’s with the three pints?”
The Irishman replies, “Simple. I have a brother back home in Dublin and another in New York, and we all promised we’d drink like this, as a way of staying close and keeping each other in mind, y’know.”
Which satisfies the barman.
Anyway, the days become weeks and months, the Irishman becomes a regular, and everyone knows and loves him.
The ritual becomes a part of the pub’s folklore.
One lunchtime, the Irishman comes in and orders two pints of Guinness.
Silence descends on the pub as the Irishman takes his pints to his table.
The barman, awkward as all hell but feeling like he has to say something, comes over to the Irishman and says, “Er, listen, Paddy, I just wanted to say I – well, we – we’re all so sorry for your loss, and, er, if there’s anything we can, er, we can do to, y’know, help or anything…”
The Irishman looks up at the barman, his face a mask of incomprehension – until suddenly, understanding hits him and he starts laughing.
“What? You thought – aw c’mon man, it’s nothing like that! I just quit drinking!”
A man drinks a shot of whiskey before bed.
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.
After years of this, the wife wants him to quit.
She gets two shot glasses and fills one with water and the other with whiskey.
After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box.
She says, “I want you to see this.”
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, “What do you have to say about this experiment?”
He responds by saying, “If I drink whiskey, I won’t get worms!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
