An old lady went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.
“It’s terrible,” she said to the doctor. “I haven’t moved my bowels in more than a week.”
“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor?
“Oh, yes,” the lady replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a good half of an hour in the morning and then again at night.”
“No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?”
“Of course I do.” she answered, “I take a magazine.”
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A girl took the wheel for her first driving lesson.
My teenage niece, Elizabeth, was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson.
As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, “Turn left here. And don’t forget to let the people behind you know what you’re doing.”
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..
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Elizabeth turned to the students sitting in the back seat and announced, “I’m going left.”
