An elderly man goes into a bar and hears two men discussing the ups and downs of marriage.
“My wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary next week,” he tells them.
“That’s great. What’s your secret for a long and happy marriage,” one asks.
“Well, you have to do nice things for your wife.”
“Such as?”
“Well, for our twenty-fifth anniversary I took her to Italy.”
“That is nice. What are you going to do for your fiftieth?”
…
..
.
“I’m going back to visit her.”
An old lady gives a boy some nuts
One day, I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady.
She said to me, “Sonny, would you like some nuts? I’ve got a couple of hazelnuts and almonds if you’d like.”
“Sure.”, I replied.
Then she gave me a handful of nuts then she went back to sit with her friends.
“What a nice lady”, I thought
A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again with a lot of nuts.
After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.
It was a little bit weird so I asked her:
“Why don’t you eat them yourself?”
…
..
.
“Because we’ve got no teeth”, she replied.
“Then why do you buy them?”, I asked.
“Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them.”
