The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, on his farm.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before, and rumor had it that he was marrying a ‘mail order’ bride.
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, “She’ll be 21 in November.”
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the a young woman could not be satisfied by an 80-year-old man. Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea, and said he would look for one that afternoon..
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom again…
“How’s the new wife?”, asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, “Good – she’s pregnant.”
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, “And how’s the hired hand?”
Without hesitating, Tom whispered, “She’s pregnant, too.”
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner.
The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly.
The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment.
Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!”
The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”
An old farmer
wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed.
The reporter asked what he is going to do with all the money.
“Oh, I reckon the first thing do is go and pay a few bills.”
“And what about the rest?” the reporter continued.
The farmer shrugs. “Well, I guess they’ll just have to wait.”
This redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC.
As the truck drove away–one of the pigs fell out.
The redneck walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck.
He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up and asked what was going on.
He told the story and the policeman recommended he take the pig to the zoo.
The redneck was sitting in the same spot the next day with the pig sitting up in the front seat.
The cop said “didn’t I ask you to take this pig to the zoo?”
The redneck replied “I did and he liked it so well–today I’m taking him to the movies!”
