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Best Kid Jokes Ever


Son: “Daddy, why some of your hairs have turned white?”

Father: “Every lie you tell makes one of my hairs white.”

Son: Oh, now I understand why all grandfathers’ hairs are white.


The teacher asks the children what they would like to do in the future.

Jimmy: I want to be a pilot.

Willy: I want to become a doctor.

Mary: I want to be a good mother.

Little Johnny: I want to help Mary.


Children lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because although a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonas.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”


A 7-year-old child is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.

The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating so many chocolate bars is bad for you.”

The boy looks over and replies, “My great-grandfather lived to be one hundred and five”.

The man replies, “And he ate so much chocolate?”

“No,” the boy says, “he minded his own business.


In a shop for kids. Peter chooses a toy car, comes to the cash desk, and gives the cashier money cards from the Monopoly game.

The cashier:

– Are you stupid? It’s not real money!


– You are stupid. The car isn’t real either.


One day a boy came home running while crying.

His mother asked what happened, why are you crying?

The boy said he was punished for something he didn’t do.

Her mother said, “That’s horrible. What did you not do?”

The boy said in tears, “My homework.”


Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

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