Motivational speech
After hearing a speech on how to motivate employees, the business owner posted signs that read “Do It Now” in every department. It was impossible for the employees not to see them all through the day.
A friend dropped by a week later. Seeing the signs, he asked if the scheme really worked.
“Well,” said the business owner, “not exactly the way I thought it would. My accountant ran off with $250,000 and the rest of the employees asked for raises.”
A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet.
“This is two hundred pounds short,” he says.
“I know,” says the employer. “But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.”
“Well,” says the worker. “I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.”
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off, otherwise they were all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man is nothing”.
The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”
