A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day.
As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds over each bird and only the legs showing. He sat right in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible.
The professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, and identifying characteristic. The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset.
He had stayed up all night studying, and now he had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore.
He went to the professor’s desk and said, “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?”
With that the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked out the door. The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn t know every student’s name, so as the student reached the door, the professor called out: “One moment, son, what’s your name?”
The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, “You guess buddy! You guess!”
A college student writes to his parents…
“Dear mom and dad,
“I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
“Your son,
Marvin.
“P.S. I felt so terrible, I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late.”
A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said,
“Your prayers were answered. Your letter never arrived!”
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
“In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Will the Morons Please Stand Up.
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?”
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
“Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked.
The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
