Murphy asked Paddy how he got his black eye.
“You’d never believe it,” said Paddy, “but I got it in church.”
He said he had been sitting behind a fat lady and when they all stood for a hymn he noticed her dress was creased into the cheeks of her bum.
“All I did was lean forward and pull it out and she turned round and hit me,” said Paddy. It was a week later and Shamus was surprised to see Paddy had another black eye.
“I got it in church,” he began to explain. He said he found himself behind the same fat woman and when they stood for the hymn her dress was once again creased into the cheeks of her bum.
“My little nephew reached forward and pulled it out. But I know she didn’t like that, so I leaned over and tucked it back!”
One night, a lady with a black eye stumbled into the police station.
She told the desk sergeant that she had heard a noise in her back yard and gone to investigate.
The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye.
‘Did you get hit by the same attacker?’ his captain asked.
‘No, sir,’ he replied. ‘I stepped on the same rake.’
A man went to the Police Station
wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant.
“No, no no!” said the man.
“I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
