On their anniversary night,
Theodore and his wife, Sophia, sat down in the den with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.
“How romantic!” Sophia thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, Sophia was still waiting for dinner to be served.
She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Theodore, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway.
“Almost ready!” he vowed. “Sorry it took me so long, I had to refill the pepper shaker.”
“Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?”
“More than an hour, I reckon. Wasn`t easy stuffin` it through those dumb little holes.”
Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office.
A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them.
On our anniversary night, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a nightgown.
As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
When he saw me, he shouted: “Are those potato chips?”
Life was good at the Smiths. It was just another day.
Suddenly, shouts were heard from inside the house. The wife was shouting at Bob, her husband.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was furious.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, bringing the box back into the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
