A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility.
Q: “Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No, sir! But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
Q: “Officer, who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender! Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir, with my life!”
Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer: Do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes, sir, I do!”
Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes, sir!”
Q: “Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?”
A: “You see, sir, we share the building with the Court Complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
The courtroom exploded with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
A woman and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a flight. The lawyer asked if she would like to play a fun game.
The woman, tired, just wanted to take a nap, politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explained, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”
This catches the woman’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The woman doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay,” says the lawyer, “your turn”.
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modern and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e- mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the woman, and hands her $500.00.
The woman says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the woman and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”
Without a word, the woman reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
