An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer lying across three seats near the back of the theatre.
He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. The customer just moans and rolls his eyes.
The usher goes to get his supervisor who also tells the customer he must only take one seat or he will call the police. Once again the customer just moans and rolls his eyes.
The supervisor calls the police, who come and tell the customer that he can only take up one seat. “What’s wrong with you?” they ask. The customer just moans and rolls his eyes.
The police officer asks the man, “Where did you come from?”
The man lifts a hand in the air, and says, “The balcony.”
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon.
After two weeks, they came back and finally opened all the presents they had received from friends and family. Since this was a new house, the process took some time.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a very popular show. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the host. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, “Guess who sent them?”
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.
And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: “Now you know!”
An Awesome Time
A young man showed up to his date’s house and told her they were going to have “an awesome time” that evening.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
“I got three tickets to a concert.”
“Why would we need three tickets?” his date asked.
“The tickets are for your parents and sister.”
A movie is being shown at the theatre.
A girl is returning to her seat and taps the shoulder of a man sitting at the end of a row.
“Excuse me,” she says, “did I step on your toe on the way to the bathroom?”
“As a matter of fact, you did, “replied the man, expecting an apology.
“Oh good,” says the girl, “then this is my row.”
My grandpa warned people that the Titanic would sink.
He yelled it at the top of his lungs, but everyone ignored him.
Eventually they grew sick of it and threw him out of the movie theatre.
