The young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day.
Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that. The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character.
He charged that she had called him a pig.
She was found guilty and fined.
After the trial, she asked the judge: “Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?”
The judge said that was true.
“Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?” asked the woman.
The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime.
The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, “Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson.”
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say: “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
