A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
Sleeping Man
Man: I cannot sleep at night, I keep seeing donkeys playing football.
Doctor: I am giving you some medicine, start using it tonight.
Man: Can I start tomorrow?
Doctor: Why tomorrow?
Man: Tonight is the finals.
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant –
“Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”
