One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class.
Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?
Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.
Teacher: Wow! What a choice… Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?
Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.
Sunday School Teacher:
“Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today’s motto, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Little Johnny: “Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business.”
Teacher: “Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?”
Little Johnny: “He’s a boxer.”
A science teacher asked her students
“Children, if you could own one material, what would it be?”
One girl said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
One boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”
The teacher said, “Little Johnny, What would you want?”
Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”
“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher
“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”
Father: Didn’t you promise to be a good boy?
Little Johnny: Yes, father.
Father: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you weren’t?
Little Johnny: Yes, father. But since I’ve broken my promise, you don’t have to keep yours.
Teacher: “Define energy.”
Johnny: “I don’t remember the complete definition but I remember the last few words.”
Teacher: “Ok, say the last few words then.”
Johnny: “… and this is called energy.”