At a dinner party,
the speaker who was the guest of honour was about to deliver his speech when his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, “It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much.”
The speaker replied, “You don’t know my wife.
The letters stand for “Keep it short, stupid.”
John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner.
As they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.
“My goodness,” said Peter, “and how long have you been married?”
“22 years,” replied John.
“You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years.”
“Don’t be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous.”
A husband said to his wife, “Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.”
His wife replied, “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband said, “I know all that.”
“Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?” asked the wife.
The guy answered, “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”
The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced: ” Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life.”
Then he raised his hands with what is his daughter gave him and said,
“My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!” The whole audience burst into laughter.
Except the Groom.
