Wife was trying to train a dog.
Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you.
Wife: Darling it’s only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with you in the beginning!
Dog Haircut.
A girl took her dog to the parlor for a haircut,
and asked what it would cost.
Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged.
“I only pay 30 bucks for my own haircut!”
The groomer replied, “That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?”
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: ‘Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with ten children – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.’
Upon entering the little country store,
the stranger noticed a sign saying “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”
“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”