At the height of a corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
“Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question.
“Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”
“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility.
Q: “Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No, sir! But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
Q: “Officer, who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender! Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir, with my life!”
Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer: Do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes, sir, I do!”
Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes, sir!”
Q: “Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?”
A: “You see, sir, we share the building with the Court Complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
The courtroom exploded with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
