While still lying in bed, the wife turned to her husband, and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t go to work today.”
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I go to work today?” replied the confused husband.
“I think you’ve been working too hard, so maybe instead of going to the office, you should take a few days off, pack a suitcase, and go stay with a friend for a few days away from home to straighten yourself out.”
The husband thought for a moment and decided to jump at the suggestion before it was forgotten. Within moments, he was up, dressed, and started packing clothes into a bag.
“Just out of curiosity,” the husband asked while getting ready, “how did you come to the conclusion that I’ve been working so hard that I need a break?”
“You were dreaming about your work all night,” the wife answered.
“Really? How do you know I was having dreams about work?” he asked.
“Because every 2 minutes you were telling your secretary to go faster.”
Jerald and Catherine had been married for 37 years, before Jerald decided to leave his wife for his secretary.
The divorce was long and messy, as there were a lot of assets to be divided between them. Jerald’s girlfriend demanded that he be the one to keep their multi-million dollar house so that she could live there, so Catherine was kicked out.
Catherine was only given three days to pack her things and leave the house, but was allowed to be there by herself to do so. She spent a couple days packing 37 years of belongings into boxes and suitcases before movers came to take it all away.
On the last day in her home, she made one final meal for herself consisting of shrimp, caviar and white wine. After she was done, she had a brilliant idea. Catherine went to every room in the house and stuffed caviar-dipped shrimp shells inside every curtain rod. She then cleaned up and left the house for good.
Jerald subsequently moved in with his girlfriend, and the two quickly settled. Within a week, however, the house started smelling terrible. The couple tried everything they could to get rid of the terrible smell but nothing worked. They even went so far as to replace the carpets.
After a month, the couple gave up and decided to sell the home. Nobody would go inside the house, let alone buy it, so the real estate agent ultimately gave up on trying to sell it. Jerald then called Catherine, knowing she loved the house, and offered it back to her at a tenth of its price. She accepted, but told them to pack up and leave right away. She gave them a week to move all their things into a new home — even the curtain rods.
